haiku-usa

A blog devoted mainly to haiku and senryu and to thoughts about, and inspired by, haiku and senryu.

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Location: New York, New York

Haiku is to poetry as espresso is to coffee.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

voice

a voice that says
my call is important
cold rain

First published in Modern Haiku

9 Comments:

Blogger John McDonald said...

well done Bill
john

3:24 PM  
Blogger Magyar said...

__That answering machine message,
that, Techno-Vacuum... so well seen. Or, my favored TV add...
"Hello, this is Peggy."

__Love this, Bill; good to know you're back. _m

6:59 PM  
Blogger Frank... said...

An excellent poem, Bill. Nice contrast of images...

5:24 AM  
Blogger Bill said...

Thanks, John, Doug, and Frank

9:02 AM  
Blogger Ramesh Sood said...

THIS IS LOVELY JIM... TELL ME, HAIKU DOESN'T HAVE TO BE 5-7-5 SYLLABLES ONLY ..CAN BE ANYTHING LESSER..JUST WANT TO LEARN FROM YOU AND WRITE WHAT MY MIND KEEPS WITH ITSELF BECAUSE IT DOESN'T FIT IN 5-7-5 SYLLABLES.. I AM SURE YOU WILL LET ME KNOW PLEASE..

won't you visit me Jim to bless my 400th post on 2nd anniversary of my blog.. thanks..

5:20 AM  
Blogger Adelaide said...

You got the feeling of the tech age just right.

Adelaide

6:30 AM  
Blogger Bill said...

Ramesh, the 17-syllable "rule" is based on a misunderstanding of Japanese practice and does not apply to English-language haiku (ELH)

There are many variations in ELH, including one-liners.

But the norm is a 3-line format incorporating a 2-part structure, with one line juxtaposed in image, theme, etc., to the other two, e. g.,

February wind
I want to believe
the crocus
(13 syllables, 5-5-3; jux: l.1 / ll.2-3)


surfing the web
at midnight . . .
the winter wind
(11 syllables, 4-3-4; jux: ll.1-2 / l.3)

I limit the total syllable count to 17 syllables max, with no line longer than 7 (reserving the right to break my own rule for a sufficiently good reason).

I prefer the short-long-short form of the first of these examples, but I do not regard it as obligatory. In the second example, the reader is invited to pause before moving on to line 3, in effect "extending" line 2.

Hope this helps, and congratulations on - well, it's now 401 posts.

Much appreciated, Adelaide. I'm enjoying my advancing obsolescence.

7:39 PM  
Blogger Ramesh Sood said...

Thanks Bill, for your time and attention... and your passion..it clears a lot about ELH..I will always keep in mind.. now I can try to spill all that I had been holding back..hope you will keep visiting me at leisure... I will be reading through your earlier posts too..

Winter's first
touch, woollens are out
My nose blows..

Thank you Bill..
RS:)

7:50 PM  
Blogger itsmyblogg(: said...

I love this one.
I write poetry to but yours is ten times more moving then mine.

11:27 AM  

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